Chickenhead Loved His Wrestling

We say "loved," because we think Chickenhead might be dead. No one knows for sure. What we can gather from this differently-formatted story is that he had a hankering for pro wrestling.







March 21, 2011

MAG DOG MORAN STRIKES AGAIN
TIME: MONDAY NIGHT, 10:55 PM
PLACE: FLEET CENTER, BOSTON



Jim Ross: Jim Ross back here with you, ladies and gentlemen, with
our guest commentator, Jerry Seinfeld.

Jerry Seinfeld: It’s good to be here. Why do they call it a wrestling
ring? I mean, it’s shaped like a square.

JR: Well, Jerry, they call it “the squared circle.”

JS: How can it be a square AND a circle? Why not call it the triangular
rhombus?

JR: Good point, Jerry. Folks, our main event tonight is just moments
away. You saw the contract signing last week on RAW. Vince McMahon
oversaw the signing between super crime-fighter Root Beer Float Man
and Academy-Award winning actress Audrey Hepburn. Once the contract
was signed, RBF sucker-punched Ms. Hepburn, and then all hell broke
loose, with Steve Austin, Triple H, and The Rock all getting
involved.

JS: What kind of name is The Rock? I mean, when he was born, did his
mother say “What should we name him? I know. How about ‘The’?” And
what about Steve Austin? I think Lee Majors has a legitimate
lawsuit against this guy. I mean, hey. What is that all about? And
Triple H? What was his father’s name? Quadruple Q?

JR: Folks, as the combatants stand in the ring, you know that this is
going to be a slobberknocker. Oh! And Root Beer Float Man again
attacks, from behind, Ms. Hepburn, who was absolutely brilliant
in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.”

JS: Why would you have breakfast at Tiffany’s? I mean, excuse me, but I
think I’ll go to the I-Hop.”

JR: And it looks like this match is over before it started. The referee
has disqualified RBF, who is using that keg of root beer as a
weapon on Audrey.

JS: Who is Root Beer Float Man’s sidekick? The Cream Soda Kid?

JR: Man, we need to get some help out here. He’s supposed to be a crime
fighter, but he’s public enemy number one in my book.

JS: What book is that? The book of fat guys from Oklahoma who wear
stupid cowboy hats and announce men in tights pretending to hit
each other and third-rate football games?

JR: Well, thank you, Jerry. Wait a minute! It’s Mad Dog Moran! Mad Dog
Moran has returned! He’s got a steel chair and RBF doesn’t see him!
He turns around and Oh! To the skull with the steel chair! Mad Dog
Moran strikes again! He was out three weeks, courtesy of RBF and
his finishing maneuver, The Mug Shot. Revenge is sweet. You’ve
heard of Beauregard’s revenge. This was Mad Dog Moran’s revenge.
Folks, what will this mean for the pay-per-view this Sunday?

JS: Why do they call it a pay-per-view?

JR: Because you pay for each viewing.

JS: Oh.

JR: Folks, officials are helping Ms. Hepburn. The Mad Dog strikes
again. We’re out of time. See you Thursday on Smackdown!